I look at intimate relationships as a sacred journey into your greatness. A journey where breakdowns lead to breakthroughs—a means of personal growth and transformation.
Romantic relationships have the most at stake—your precious heart. Finding someone to love and then being loved by them in the ways that work for both of you is not always easy. There are so many details that must come together: the right person, at the right time who wants a long-term commitment, and who is emotionally available. It is amazing that any intimate partnerships happen at all!
I learned so much from my late husband, Bernie, just by asking him a question, being quiet, and giving him time to reveal what was important to him. Then, by listening with rapt attention to his inner most thoughts, feelings, and longings, I experienced his expression of contemplative wisdom as a wonderful gift. At the same time, he experienced my listening as a gift of total admiration.
The secret is to ask a man what he THINKS rather than how he FEELS. In doing so, you will discover more about what he values and what inspires him. Then by listening attentively, the man will feel acknowledged and respected.
There are three more secrets that contribute to experiencing an intimate relationship as a sacred journey. The first is the gift of happiness. A man is hardwired to make his chosen woman happy. Bernie did not always say the things I wanted to hear, but he was masterful at showing me how devoted he was by fixing things, doing fun things with me, and bringing me flowers unexpectedly. Over time, I discovered that he became elated whenever I noticed and whispered in his ear, “You make me so happy.” The magic is in the acknowledgement.
The next secret is the gift of providing. A man will work many hours, at multiple jobs if need be, to provide financial stability for the woman he loves. Bernie found creative ways to pay the mortgage and still be able to afford for us to travel extensively to Germany, Mexico, Hawaii and exotic Caribbean islands. For ten years we got sit on white, sandy beaches, stand beneath incredible waterfalls, tour historic castles, and share a lifetime of memorable moments. I am so grateful for the thrill of the adventure he provided, it rocked my world and filled my soul with joy and passion.
The third secret is the gift of protection. In the face of perceived danger, a man will instinctually put himself between the woman he is with and a foreboding individual or animal. Thankfully, Bernie never had the opportunity to face down an attacker on my behalf, but he did own a firearm and implemented security measures on the doors and windows so that I was safe at home while he worked evenings. In addition, whenever we walked down a sidewalk, Bernie never failed to walk between me and the traffic. I never had to worry about my safety when I was with him.
Relationships can be a source of fun and pleasure, or formed by trial and fire. As intimate relationships progress, there are any number of inconsiderations that can trigger one or both partners. A trigger is an emotional reaction to an unresolved incident from the past that prevents you from experiencing true intimacy. Identifying triggers is an excellent opportunity to take responsibility, be part of the solution rather than part of the problem, and heal your heart.
When breakdowns occur, I recommend and invite you to experience the healing effect of Resonance Repatterning®. This method can resolve any bitterness, anger, resentment, betrayal, and guilt that happened in the past that is causing the recurring trigger. By clearing the pain and suffering from your past, your intimate relationship can transform your future into a sacred journey into your greatness.
Victoria Benoit, M.C.
Healer, Speaker, Bestselling Author of
What Would Love Do Right Now? A Guide to Living an Extraordinary Life